Chapter 195 : Hurt

Trigger Warning: suicide.

While the guards exchanged looks, Jiang Ruan walked up to the person and stopped in front of them. Jiang Ruan lowered her head to look down at the person and inquired in a low voice, “Bai Zhi, you don’t dare to look me in the eyes?”

The guards who were standing to the side were startled. All the subordinates in the Jinying Wangfu were familiar with Bai Zhi as she had come with the Young Furen as a dowry maid. Aside from Tian Zhu who was originally Xiao Shao’s, Jiang Ruan’s four maids were all well-known within the Wangfu. Usually, Bai Zhi was the calmest and quietest in temperament amongst the four, and she was also the most charming and beautiful. Many of the guards had come over to deliver things in the hopes of winning her over. Bai Zhi had also obtained Jiang Ruan’s trust and had been her oldest companion maid since Jiang Ruan was little. Since the set up to catch a mole had been arranged by Jiang Ruan, when they heard Bai Zhi’s name the guards were all taken aback.

Even though the person on the ground did not respond right away, Jiang Ruan was neither anxious nor impatient; instead, she calmly and amicably waited. After some time, the person finally tidied up their clothes and slowly stood up, revealing a familiar face.

Bai Zhi’s facial expression was as gentle and composed as usual, as if she had just finished a task for Jiang Ruan. Furthermore, there was no sign of the panic associated with being caught. She simply looked at Jiang Ruan and remarked, “Miss, you’re so smart to have apprehended me.”

“This. . .” When the guards realised that the person was indeed Bai Zhi, they were all perplexed and stared at her as though she were someone unfamiliar to them, but nonetheless still wary that she might do something to harm Jiang Ruan. Just then, Lian Qiao and the others who had heard the news dashed over and were shocked when they saw Bai Zhi surrounded by the guards. Being an impatient person, Lu Zhu wasted no time in asking, “Bai Zhi Jiejie, how could it be you?”

Lian Qiao and Bai Zhi had grown up together and naturally had a strong bond of friendship. When Lian Qiao came upon this scene, even with the shock the first thing that came to mind was that Bai Zhi had been wronged. She asked anxiously, “What exactly is going on? Bai Zhi, is this all some big misunderstanding? Miss is here and she will definitely help you clear your name. Speak up quickly.”

She was really and truly anxious and quickly wanted to help Bai Zhi get rid of the accusation because in Lian Qiao’s view, Bai Zhi had no reason to harm Jiang Ruan, let alone being a mole as reported by the informant. However, Bai Zhi did not provide the clarification she had hoped for. She simply smiled and said, “It’s not a misunderstanding. I’m the mole that was planted by Miss’ side. She is always perceptive and this time is no exception. She did not apprehend the wrong person.” She glanced at Lian Qiao before murmuring, “I’m sorry I lied to all of you.”

“How is this even possible?” Lian Qiao, unable to stay calm, grabbed Bai Zhi’s sleeve. She was agitated, and regardless of the number of people present she held nothing back. “You and I have cared for Miss since we were children, and everyone could see how well you took care of her. At that time, in the rural residence you were so devoted to helping Miss deal with others. Thus, after all these years, I am qualified to talk about your character. Bai Zhi, are you facing some kind of hidden difficulty*? You and I have been friends for many years, and Miss regards you as her own. If you tell her, Miss will definitely help you. Has something happened to you?”

*难言之隐 (nányánzhīyǐn) – a hidden trouble hard to mention (idiom); something too embarrassing to mention.

Bai Zhi paused briefly, before exerting some strength to push Lian Qiao’s hand away from her sleeve. “I have nothing to say and I don’t have any hidden difficulties. Since you do not trust me, do you not trust Miss? When has she ever captured the wrong person?”

Lian Qiao was taken aback by the determination in Bai Zhi’s eyes. Subconsciously she took two steps back before returning her gaze to the woman in front of her, who now felt very unfamiliar. Bai Zhi seemed very different from the friend she spent all her time with. She looked perplexedly at Jiang Ruan but Jiang Ruan’s expression remained unchanged. She only said to the guards around her, “You can withdraw. Leave a few people outside the courtyard.”

“Young Furen,” a guard said with worry, “your safety is important.”

“Why worry about an unarmed woman? It’s enough to have Tian Zhu here,” Jiang Ruan spoke lightly. Seeing Jiang Ruan’s resolve, the guards knew that Jiang Ruan was not a person that could be easily swayed by others and so they could only fall back and remain outside the courtyard.

In the courtyard, only Lian Qiao, Lu Zhu, Tian Zhu, and Jiang Ruan remained, along with Bai Zhi whose current thoughts were unknown.

“Miss treats you very kindly. Why have you done this?” Lu Zhu was the first to lose her temper. She was very clear about the things that she liked and disliked in the world. She had always considered Jiang Ruan as family and sincerely loved and protected her with all her heart. Consequently, when she suddenly realised that Bai Zhi was the one who had secretly plotted to harm Jiang Ruan, one could only imagine her rage. If Lu Zhu had previously harboured doubts that Bai Zhi had been wronged, after observing Bai Zhi’s attitude and Jiang Ruan’s certainty, Lu Zhu was able to pick up on those tell-tale signs and was left with only righteous indignation for her.

Bai Zhi did not respond to Lu Zhu’s statement, instead she looked at Jiang Ruan and asked, “Miss, did you set this trap for me today? Did Miss already know that I was the person who had incited and activated the poison??”

“Yes.” Jiang Ruan flatly replied. “As I said before, to find the person behind this, it was necessary for me to enter the palace to set up my trap. I intended this for you to hear. I knew you’d definitely try to find a way to send word out so I specifically ordered the guards to lay in wait within the Wangfu to catch the suspect.”

“Miss, you are always astute, and nothing can escape your notice.” Bai Zhi smiled and seemed very composed. “Since when has Miss known that this servant was a mole?”

A peculiar emotion flashed in Jiang Ruan’s lovely eyes, her red lips slightly curled, but her smile was cold. “Bai Zhi, if it were possible, the last person I would doubt would be you.” She seemed indifferent and spoke without any emotion. “My mother gave you to me to be my maid, and you have never left my side. You’ve been with me for so long and I’ve always thought that anyone who stays with me through so much, wouldn’t betray me. Bai Zhi, one might say that I only trust very few people in this world and you can be considered one of them.”

Bai Zhi was astonished. She didn’t seem to expect Jiang Ruan to say such things but although her lips moved, in the end, she still remained silent.

“All of my food in the Wangfu must pass Steward Lin’s inspection. The Wangfu is extremely strict in these matters, and I don’t believe any mistakes were made there. Therefore, if the poison was allegedly put in something, it must have been done outside. At first I thought it was in the palace, or Jiang Dan had found a way, until I remembered that on the day Xiao Shao and I were married, while waiting in the bridal chamber, Lu Zhu was afraid I was hungry and gave me a cake. You brought me a cup of tea.”

Lu Zhu seemed to remember it too. “Yes, Bai Zhi Jiejie sent a cup of tea because she was worried that Miss would only have cakes and choke on them. Did the tea have a problem?”

“How could Miss determine that this servant was responsible based on a cup of tea alone?” Bai Zhi smiled.

“A cup of tea wouldn’t prove anything. Someone else might have put the poison in. But you know I’m not used to eating things that are too sweet. Even though the cakes were already very sweet, you still gave me honey water infused with lotus leaf. Even though it seemed like nothing, Bai Zhi, you’ve been with me for more than ten years and know my eating habits better than anyone else. You are my first-rank maid and I could always depend on you. You would not make such a mistake. You only did it because you were nervous and didn’t notice the little things. The usual Bai Zhi wouldn’t serve cakes and tea that was overly sweet.”

Lian Qiao paused and looked at Bai Zhi. She and Bai Zhi had served Jiang Ruan for so long that she naturally understood what Jiang Ruan said was correct. Bai Zhi had always been meticulous in taking care of Jiang Ruan. She was also cautious and wouldn’t have made such a mistake.

Bai Zhi finally chuckled after quite a long time. “Sure enough, you’re very attentive, Miss. Surprisingly, such a minor detail betrayed this servant. This servant is convinced.”

“No, it’s not just that,” Jiang Ruan looked at the blazing torch, which cast such a bright light that nothing could be concealed from it. Her face had a kind of solemn beauty. “When I returned, Lian Qiao and the others surrounded me. They were happy that I had been detoxified, while you were the only one who was sad.”

“Is there anything wrong with this servant being sad because she is worried about Miss?” Bai Zhi wondered.

“Yes, you should have been concerned for me. As my personal maid, there is nothing improper about your concern for your master’s injury. But a normal person will initially feel joy because another person escaped disaster. Since you first saw me, Bai Zhi, you have never looked happy. This was odd as if you were not happy that I had gotten better but rather worried and depressed. What’s making you sad? Is it because you failed?” She asked.

“It turns out that I have also given myself away here,” Bai Zhi said, looking at Jiang Ruan in a trance.

“Not only that, but when I returned to the Wangfu, I saw that my room was messy as if it had not been tidied up. You explained that it was because everyone was worried about my condition and had no mood to clean.” Jiang Ruan shook her head. “This might describe Lian Qiao and Lu Zhu, who are both impetuous and can’t keep secrets in their hearts. They had no other thoughts after something bad happened to me. But you are different, Bai Zhi. You’ve been with me for so long, your nature is the calmest, and even when I was unconscious after drowning in the rural residence, you still maintained order because you’re strong-minded. You don’t change merely because of some external factors. Would you not be in the mood to work because of my injury? No, it was not due to the worry. You couldn’t calm down because something was weighing heavily on your mind.”

Her final suspicion of Bai Zhi was possibly due to the dream about her last life that appeared like a warning. Lian Qiao died by Jiang Quan’s hands, but Bai Zhi stayed until the very end to accompany her into the palace. At the time she mistakenly thought that Xia Yan agreed in a moment of weakness due to Bai Zhi’s soft temperament. But after thinking about it, with Xia Yan’s cautious nature, no matter what kind of person Bai Zhi was, it would have been impossible for Xia Yan to let her bring her trusted aide into the palace.

Bai Zhi looked at Jiang Ruan before taking a sudden step forward. Tian Zhu stood vigilantly in front of Jiang Ruan. Tian Zhu arrived last and did not have the deep friendship with Bai Zhi like Lian Qiao did. Moreover, because she hated people who betrayed their masters the most while she was in the Jinyi Guards, Tian Zhu only saw Bai Zhi as an enemy now that it was confirmed that she was the mole.

As soon as Tian Zhu moved, Bai Zhi stopped. She looked at Jiang Ruan, pondered for a while, and then smiled wryly. “What you have said is correct, Miss. After years of following you, you know this servant like the back of your hand. Besides that, Miss is someone who can easily guess the human heart. This servant’s devious tricks are completely useless in front of Miss and only serve to make me a laughing stock.”

“I noticed your abnormality not because I know you well, nor because I’m good at guessing human hearts. I only know your identity because you purposefully revealed it to me.” Jiang Ruan walked around Tian Zhu, and continued slowly until she was in front of Bai Zhi. She looked at Bai Zhi calmly before telling her the truth. “You intentionally gave these clues to me. You did not wish to hide your identity. You wanted me to discover it. So, rather than saying that I arranged this hunt, you arranged it through my hand.”

Bai Zhi was stunned for a moment before she smiled and said, “Miss, you are really good at making jokes. I’m not a fool; why would I take the initiative to give someone a hint so that they could catch me? Why would I do that?”

“Yes,” Jiang Ruan sighed, looking her in the eyes. “I also want to know why you’re doing this.”

The upturned gaze of those lovely eyes was fierce, as if to strip away all disguises. There was nowhere for her thoughts to hide from those bright eyes. Bai Zhi looked uneasy. She gritted her teeth and kept looking at Jiang Ruan.

“Didn’t you choose this method to tell me the truth?” Jiang Ruan’s soothing voice seemed to tempt and enchant people so that they could not help but reveal their true feelings. “Bai Zhi, why don’t you tell me if you have any difficulties? This is an explanation, not just to me, but to you as well. Having been betrayed by the maidservant who has been with me for more than a decade, you should at least give me an account. Otherwise, I will think I am such a master who can’t keep her people.”

Lu Zhu and Lian Qiao both looked at Bai Zhi. They went from being sisters who got along day and night to enemies overnight. This fact was so unacceptable to them that Lian Qiao said, “Bai Zhi, you should at least tell us the reason.”

Bai Zhi lowered her hand for a moment after being watched intently. Her eyes were calm when she looked up again as if she had made a major decision. “You guessed correctly, Miss,” she said. “It’s not that you can’t keep your people. I poisoned you because I am Jiang Furen‘s person.”

“How is that possible?” Lu Zhu was taken aback. “Jiang Furen passed away long ago. How could she order you to poison Miss?”

“Jiang Furen chose this servant and Lian Qiao to serve Miss at the time. But, we’re not the same. Lian Qiao had a clean background since she was born in the Jiang fu. This servant’s family lives in the Jiang fu’s rural residence. My elder brother worked for Jiang Furen’s steward. Jiang Furen summoned this servant to come over and look after Miss, but she still held the deed of slavery over my entire family in her hands.”

Lian Qiao did not anticipate this. She had always assumed that Bai Zhi, like her, had been personally chosen by Zhao Mei to serve Jiang Ruan, and that her background was naturally clean. Who knew Bai Zhi was sent in with an ulterior motive?

“Even though Jiang Furen summoned this servant to follow Miss, she never told this servant to do anything and only asked for Miss’ information on occasion. This servant didn’t dare to resist. Later, when Miss went to the rural residence, this servant’s family was fortunate enough to be freed from slavery. This servant kept serving Miss because there was no threat and this servant wanted to serve Miss wholeheartedly as a way to atone for the previous years.” She paused before laughing. “Miss used to be soft-tempered and was frequently bullied. But in the rural residence, Miss changed her temper, and this servant was truly happy for her. Later, Jiang Furen died, and this servant assumed that the matter of the past was forever gone and that everything would be fine as long as I stayed with Miss like this. But then unexpectedly, someone gave me my mother’s keepsake. Someone found this servant’s family and ordered this servant to give Miss medicine or else this servant’s family would lose their lives.”

“So you poisoned Miss to keep your family safe?” Lian Qiao was taken aback. This was excusable, but as a maid one could never betray her master so Bai Zhi’s actions were unacceptable to Lian Qiao. “Even so, did you ever think about Miss when you did this?” Lian Qiao immediately asked. “Let’s not talk about what happened before, but you could have told Miss what had happened. Miss is so smart, she would have figured out a way to help you.”

“You don’t understand!” Bai Zhi yelled. “Lian Qiao, your family is innocent. You can be a loyal servant. But I am Jiang Furen’s person. If this matter comes to light and implicates me, even if nothing has been done to Miss, how can Miss see me in the future without estrangement? There’s no way I could ever go back to the past. Also, no matter how infinitely resourceful Miss is, I won’t gamble with my family’s lives. I have older and younger brothers; I can’t put them in danger for my sake.”

“You are so stubborn!” Lian Qiao said angrily.

“I don’t care what you say about me or if you blame me for it.” Bai Zhi smiled ruefully. “After all, I was the one who committed this terrible crime. However Miss punishes me, I have no regrets.”

“So, who is the person who asked you to poison Miss?” Lu Zhu inquired eagerly.

“I don’t know.” Bai Zhi shook her head. “They sent me a message on a dart with a note on it. I don’t know who that person is. I don’t know what they look like because they were on the other side of the wall.”

“I only have one question for you.” Jiang Ruan said flatly, “Did you know that Jiang Dan poisoned my mother more than ten years ago?”

Lu Zhu and Lian Qiao were taken aback. They never knew that Jiang Dan was behind the poisoning because they were unaware of who the person backed by the Xia family was. So, it turned out to be Jiang Dan?

After a moment of silence, Bai Zhi nodded.

Jiang Ruan gave her a cold stare. If her attitude towards Bai Zhi had previously been gentle and showed no anger at being betrayed, she was now so indifferent that people felt cold. “You’ve been with me for so long. As you said, you have done nothing to harm me. You and Lian Qiao were by my side during my most difficult moments. Although I’ve never explicitly stated it, so long as there is peace in the world, I will do everything in my power to protect you. Bai Zhi, I will not pursue the matter of poisoning me. You did these things for the sake of your family. I might not have acted any better than you. But you witnessed Jiang Dan poison my mother, and you could have taken the initiative to remind me like today. But, you said nothing. Even though everyone serves his own master and anything is forgivable, I will never forgive you for that.”

Bai Zhi was taken aback and looked up at Jiang Ruan abruptly. Jiang Ruan had always had a cold temperament and didn’t care much about anything on the surface, so she was always very tolerant of her subordinates’ mistakes. However, only those close to her were aware that she was insanely paranoid about certain things. Before, Bai Zhi was certain that Jiang Ruan would be disappointed with her, but she would not take her rage out on her. And yet, Jiang Ruan’s words just now had made it clear that they were in opposing camps.

“I have nothing to say about you poisoning me. However, I’ll never forgive you for standing there watching my mother die and still doing nothing. Bai Zhi, the bond of friendship we shared as master and servant has ended forever in this world.”

Every word she spoke was powerful and resolute. Jiang Ruan’s words were indisputable. Lian Qiao, Lu Zhu, and Tian Zhu stood in silence. Nobody spoke. Bai Zhi was stupefied. One by one snowflakes fell on her, flames burned silently in the snow, and she felt very lonely as if the entire universe had abandoned her.

A moment later, she began laughing softly, then her laughter grew louder and louder until she was nearly in tears. “I did not complete the given task, and they will not spare me for fear that I will implicate them. There’s only one way out.” As soon as she finished speaking, she slammed head first into the stone wall. She was already close to the wall, and Tian Zhu was guarding Jiang Ruan, so it was too late to save her. Bai Zhi exerted her full effort, as she was clearly determined to die. A soft thud was heard. Lian Qiao exclaimed, as Bai Zhi fell down softly, the blood on her forehead a horrifying sight.

She took a big breath. Blood poured from her mouth, and the snow under her body turned bright red. She gasped, her voice sounding like a broken bellow. One could barely make out the words “I’m sorry.”

The snow resumed its quiet fall. There was no sound, and large flakes of snow continued to fall, almost immediately covering up the blood that had stained the ground. Jiang Ruan’s voice was so soft that it was nearly inaudible. “Please bury her.”

She turned around and walked out of the courtyard, her crimson skirt and the blood on the ground merging into one. She walked with a cold face and a straight back. She never looked back at the figure on the ground. But she walked faster and faster, hurrying through the snow. When she ran out of the courtyard, she stopped suddenly, holding on to the red column next to her and felt cold all over.

She pressed her lips together tightly, the corners of her lips stiff, but her eyes were slightly red.

A lone figure emerged from behind and stood there. Then he slowly drew her over to his shoulder, and hugged her in his arms. The young man was handsome, but his slender figure seemed to contain reassurance and infinite strength. Even on this cold winter day, there was some warmth.

“Xiao Shao, I’m sad.” A weariness that was not normally present in Jiang Ruan’s voice could be heard. She reached out and hugged the man in front of her, burying her head on his shoulder. “Don’t betray me.”